respite, together
by Plum'oh
Summary: There is everything to consider, for the after. / post-KH3, RikuRoku.
1. Chapter 1

**Rating:** K+

**Summary:** There is everything to consider, for the _after_.

**Disclaimer:** The characters belong to Square Enix.

Hello!

Spoilers for the KH3 endgame, picks up just after the final battle! This is the RikuRoku getting together I should have written years ago, and KH3 only pushed me into actually doing it aha

Crossposted to AO3.

* * *

**Chapter 1**

King Mickey let Sora go, but Roxas can see that he didn't want to. Sora might be strong and resourceful, especially in dire situations, but alone, so many things can happen because of a mistake he couldn't fix by himself.

Roxas puts a hand on his chest, above where his heart is. A beating heart he never knew he had—how was he supposed to know how to recognize a heart, when everybody told him it was useless to look for one? He feels warm. He can feel Sora; there is an unbreakable connection between the two of them he's not sure he could ever sever. It's like a gentle breeze infusing him with a quiet confidence, comforting him even if he doesn't feel down—a boost that always pushes him forward.

"Everyone goes home, then?" Axel says, rubbing the back of his neck (which is something that he'll never get rid of, apparently).

The Keyblade Graveyard is silent, but his sentence makes everything even more so; everyone glances at each other, unsure of what to do or what to make of the situation. Roxas sees Xion clasp her hands in front of her, while Donald and Goofy heave a sigh.

"We don't have much of a choice," Donald grumbles.

"Aw, don't be like that," Goofy admonishes.

"We should rest," King Mickey agrees. "Do you all have somewhere to go back to?"

He casts a wary look at those who just got back—Terra, Xion, and Roxas himself, but his gaze also lingers on Aqua and… Ventus. Roxas presses his lips together.

"We'll go back to the Land of Departure," Aqua replies with a small smile. "I can't see us going anywhere else."

"Yeah, that's our home," Ventus enthusiastically adds.

Axel nods and even seems relieved at this piece of information, for whatever reason Roxas doesn't know. Maybe he was afraid that they wouldn't be able to go home, or that they couldn't stay together. Weird.

"What about you guys?" the King turns towards Axel.

Before either one of them could speak up, Roxas steps forward. "We don't have anywhere to go to right now."

It draws everyone's attention to him, and he would have squirmed under such intense gazes were he still a recruit who just joined the Organization, but now he can make decisions by himself.

"I'm not sure we are ready to settle somewhere in the state we are."

He gestures to his clothes, Axel's and Xion's injuries, and the general atmosphere that clings to them. Nobody is ready to move on with their lives after—after that.

Axel grins, but the edges of it are sad. "Yeah, Roxas is right. Who would have thought he'd be the responsible one, now?"

At least it makes Xion giggles. Roxas smiles, and lets Axel ruffle his hair even if this is a gesture he thinks he has outgrown (if he could say that).

"Don't you want to go to Twilight Town?" a sharp but curious voice cuts in, and Roxas has to take a breath.

Riku is looking at them with interest and mild surprise, like he expected them to run off the moment the battle ended. In all honesty, that's probably what would have happened, were the circumstances different. Maybe Roxas is being selfish by postponing something they have been chasing for a long time. Maybe he is simply scared of what it entails. Maybe he still needs time to think.

"It's not like I don't _want _to, but we can't." He shakes his head. "Not right away."

A shadow passes over Riku's face, painful and sad, but it's so quick Roxas can't ponder on it. Everyone is looking at them, and Roxas is suddenly aware of the strange picture they're showing—two people who shouldn't have met but did anyway, with a history that's only theirs to tell.

Axel drapes an arm over Roxas's shoulder, which makes the latter stagger, and waves a hand dismissively.

"There's no rush, I agree with Roxas here. And we can't just pop up in a world like that without preparation."

"We should discuss it," Xion says gently. "Together, right?"

Her smile is the most beautiful thing Roxas has ever seen, even if it reminds him of the times when it wasn't there (or was it _because _there were times she couldn't smile?). He returns the smile easily.

"Thank you, guys."

Riku shrugs, then. "I understand. I think I'll go to Master Yen Sid's tower for a while."

"You can come with us!" Ventus is quick to say, frantically gesturing.

This seems to catch the group's attention faster than Roxas's own statement, though instead of shocked the mood is nervous. King Mickey is casting his gaze downward while Donald and Goofy are averting their eyes, not exactly helping to dissipate the tense atmosphere. Riku looks as surprised as the others by Ventus's suggestion, so his words aren't as composed as he usually makes them be.

"Ah, thanks for the invitation, but I…need to stay away, for a bit. That won't be long, I don't want to bother you guys."

"You know you'll never bother us," Ventus assures. "We're friends, right?"

And if _that _isn't weird, seeing his own face with such a big grin directed at Riku, Roxas doesn't know what is. He still hasn't figured out the whole situation and he might need some time himself to start that conversation.

"Of course we're friends. Thanks, Ventus."

Ventus looks about to say something else when Aqua puts a hand on his shoulder, effectively stopping him. She then faces Riku and looks at him kindly, full of support.

"Take care, Riku."

Riku nods and smiles at her; Roxas suspects that as fellow keyblade masters they must have many things to discuss and responsibilities, so they are bound to see each other again.

"We'll go to the tower too, if that's no problem," Axel says. "Gotta practice with my keyblade some more, now that I have two teachers at my side."

And Roxas chuckles, lightly punching Axel's arm because it's kind of embarrassing, and Xion laughs and tackles Axel with a hug, and maybe that's how it's going to be, from now on.

* * *

Master Yen Sid gave them two rooms, one for Xion and one for the boys, because the tower "is not a place of residency equipped with the necessary room for so many people". Roxas suspects he just wasn't very happy to have his space invaded so soon after the final battle, but he should have seen this coming if he was following their progress so closely. Or maybe he thought they'd go to Radiant Garden, where most of the ex-Organization XIII members were living, along with the friends Sora made during his journey. It could have been an option, but for the same reason they didn't go to Twilight Town, Axel probably didn't want to go back there just yet, either.

So they end up rooming for an undetermined period of time. The room is only just for sleeping, really, as it's a four-bed room with as many desks and closets strategically juxtaposed to optimize the small space. Roxas can't say he's happy with this arrangement, but he'll live—besides, the rooms in the Castle That Never Was weren't that much better.

"I hope you don't snore," Axel teases.

"Please, Demyx was complaining to me that you talked in your sleep," Roxas snorts. "And no, I don't snore. Can't say the same for Riku, though."

"What do you mean by that?" Riku sounds slightly offended.

Roxas levels him with an amused gaze, and points to his head. "Memories."

He expected Riku to roll his eyes or to deny the statement, but he only laughs and shakes his head.

"Don't worry, I'm not that bad. At least I hope so."

"If you live to see tomorrow's light, then yeah you're not too bad," Axel snickers.

Riku's lips curl upwards, something that Roxas feels is familiar, and this is why he knows there is an underlying sadness in it. His own heart squeezes at the sight.

"Hey, I think the biggest problem is food. Did Master Yen Sid tell us we'd be fed?"

Silence falls into the room, as they all stare at each other.

"I hope those brooms aren't for show," Axel mutters.

* * *

Turns out that the brooms do prepare meals, but twice a week they have to make their own lunch and dinner, because Master Yen Sid doesn't want them to become too dependent on his magic—Axel loudly complains that they don't have much munny and can't afford to spend it on something they can get for free. Xion is excited to try her hand at cooking, Riku much less so, and Roxas thinks it's going to be a disaster. He doesn't trust any of them to do well in a kitchen, especially since he's positive at least three of them don't have any experience.

It starts slowly, really. They all shed the black coat for new clothes, learn how to appreciate their day now that they don't have missions to complete or heavy training to do, but they also have a lot of time on their hands leading to thinking. At first Riku acts as if they don't exist, except for a short greeting in the morning during breakfast (the brooms never spill anything), and spends his day somewhere in the tower or in other worlds, Roxas isn't sure. He isn't even sure why he's so invested in Riku's case. They never see him until dinner, and they didn't think of looking for him either; if they've learned anything from their mistakes, it's that leaving someone alone to ponder on things might not always be the best solution, but Roxas has no idea how to talk to Riku.

"Talk to him like you would talk to us?" Xion suggests, when they are sitting under the starry night. "I think acting normal is the best, you don't need to think too much about it."

"Well, the problem is that our circumstances aren't normal," Roxas mumbles.

"I asked you to do terrible things, Roxas. That's pretty high on the list of abnormal circumstances."

Roxas grunts but doesn't deny it. He was simply so relieved to see Xion and Axel in one piece with their memories he didn't really think about how they parted ways, and now that they've settled into a sort of routine, he remembers he's been pretty awful to Axel (not without reason!), and that they've never explained anything to each other or apologized. Xion looks fine with the situation, but maybe she's also avoiding the topic altogether. He didn't thank his best friends either for everything they've done for him.

"Having a heart is difficult," he groans.

Xion chuckles and pats him on the shoulder. "It'll be alright, we'll figure it out together. Talk to Riku, if you're that worried about him."

"I'm not _worried _."

The look Xion casts him is unimpressed but there is mirth dancing behind it, like she knows something he doesn't. How did she become so perceptive of other people's emotions? How does she _recognize _emotions?

"Riku is our friend now, and worrying about friends is what we do."

He doesn't reply right away. "Yeah. Right. Okay." He looks up at the sky. "How can you be so calm about this? He wasn't exactly our ally."

"He was my ally, when I was looking for answers." Xion shakes her head. "It was mutually beneficial. We didn't start off on the right foot, but in the end we became friends."

Thinking of Riku as their friend is a bit weird, because he can count the number of conversations they've had on one hand and half of them involved fighting, so he's not sure it qualifies as friendly, but it's something he can fix. And he has the nagging suspicious Riku is avoiding him specifically because of that. He's probably avoiding Xion, too, despite her claims.

"Why don't you talk to him?" Roxas asks.

Xion looks at the stars, a hand on her chest where her heart is. "I think you need this more than I do. Trust me, it will do you good."

That doesn't make sense, but Roxas can believe what she says is true.

So after dinner, Roxas waits in the dining hall, chin propped in one hand and the fingers of the other drumming on the table. Axel is on some kind of job Master Yen Sid tasked him to, and Xion left early to give them space. Riku is still checking his gummiphone.

"Did you get some news?"

Riku seems to have forgotten he isn't alone in the room, as he doesn't quite startle but his eyes widen just so. Then he shrugs, putting his phone away.

"Not really. Just Aqua asking if everything was fine."

Roxas doesn't even need to find a pretense to tackle the subject. He stops his drumming.

"_ Is _everything fine?"

Okay, maybe too straightforward. Unusual, actually. Riku raises an eyebrow at him, clearly not seeing what this question entails.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't it be fine?"

Roxas straightens. "I dunno, just making sure. We haven't decided what to do yet, so I was wondering about you."

This actually draws a chuckle from Riku. "You were wondering about me? That's new."

Xion was wrong, acting normal with Riku doesn't make it easier.

"Why do you always make things difficult?" he says, a thin layer of exasperation coating his voice.

The look of alarm on Riku's face immediately makes Roxas feel bad for what he said, but he's a bit tired to dance around the topic and not knowing how to be himself.

"Sorry, that wasn't my intention," Riku sighs. "And...sorry for everything else, too. We haven't really talked about it."

Roxas doesn't let his surprise show on his face, or pretend he doesn't know what they're talking about.

"Oh, uh, it's okay. That wasn't my brightest moment. Thanks I guess, I probably would have done something stupid."

He thinks about it, sometimes. He thinks about Xion's wish to free the hearts of Kingdom Hearts and what would have happened if he did succeed in accomplishing it. He thinks about defeating Riku and never returning to Sora. But that's a story from long ago, one he can't imagine the end of because he's satisfied with what he has now; maybe these mistakes were meant to be made to appreciate the present.

Riku hums, a strange smile on his lips as he looks at Roxas with almost kind eyes. The latter's heart lurches painfully in his chest, and he has to look away.

"I can still kick your ass, though," he says a bit too loudly to cover his heartbeat.

"I look forward to it." Riku's voice is clear and amused. He pauses for a few seconds, then says, "I'm glad you're not mad at me."

Roxas still doesn't look his way, but he nods. "Can't stay mad at people who did what they did for their friends."

"...Guess not."

Riku gets up and bids him good night, and it's only when his footsteps can't be heard anymore that Roxas realizes Riku dodged the original question.

* * *

Sharing a room has its perks, despite the general consensus that living with someone is a nightmare ("People leave their stuff everywhere!" Demyx complained. "Too much noise," Lexaeus grumbled. "You have to follow their rules," Luxord sighed). As long as they don't have to share a bed, Roxas is fine with it. When he stepped into the bedroom after taking a walk to clear his mind because the situation is way too ridiculous, Riku was in the shower and wasn't done yet, which gives him a few extra minutes to think through what he wants to say. He's not good with words, he much prefers doing something than explaining this or that. Xion is better at it, and even if Axel tends to magnify it, he has his ways.

The door of the bathroom clicks open, and Roxas immediately stands up. Riku seems ready to make a jump to the ceiling at seeing Roxas so intense, but he slowly relaxes, though his confusion remains.

"What's wrong?"

"You didn't answer me, earlier."

No matter Riku's hair is still a bit damp from the shower or that he's only wearing a plain shirt that really shows off his distracting arms, Roxas won't back down. He can't really explain why he feels so strongly about this (he can), but he knows he has to do it.

"I told you, I'm fine, everything's fine." Riku rolls his eyes.

"You said you needed…space."

Riku carefully chooses his words. "Yeah, like you guys did. Some time to sort things out, I guess."

Roxas licks his lips, curling his fists. Having a heart is hard.

"The islands...do you plan on going back?"

And finally, Riku's patience snaps. "Why are you asking me all these questions?"

"Kairi is gone and Sora went after her." Roxas breathes out, his gaze never leaving the floor. The sound of his heartbeat pounds in his ears. "There is nobody waiting there. You can't call it a home, right? That's why you wanted to...get away. To wait here at the tower until Sora comes back."

He risks a quick glance in Riku's direction, and he's afraid of seeing an empty spot or rage painted all over his face. He finds neither, as Riku is perfectly still, not letting anything seep through his mask. Roxas hates that (Axel kept feeding him that smug face of his).

"Home is...where your friends are. At least it is for me."

That is why he can stay away from Twilight Town for the time being; as long as he has Axel and Xion at his side, as long as they're safe with him, he'd go anywhere. They can start from scratch and build everything together.

His shoulders droop. "I don't really know what I want to say with that, actually."

"That's alright. Thanks, Roxas."

Riku's voice is soft, gentle, like he's afraid of scaring Roxas away even though it's not a habit of his to run away from conversations. He looks up as Riku steps forward, and puts a hand on his shoulder.

"I appreciate it. I really just need to take some time to myself. I have faith in Sora, they'll both be back." The curl of his lips is even more tender. "He has a knack for accomplishing the impossible."

A laugh bubbles in Roxas's throat. "That's true." He swallows, hyperaware of Riku's hand, then, "I can feel him, you know. He's still there."

He brings a hand to his chest, much like all the times he thought about his other and how strong he is. It's so easy to forget that the more connections one person has, the more powerful they become, because they have all their friends' support. He's only ever been close to two people, and their connection has wavered more than once. Every bond, even if it's not deep, adds its weight to the power they carry every day to fight against the threats that stand in their way, and is a constant reminder that they're not alone.

"We have to keep believing," Roxas says. "We can't break the connection, and risk their return. You're their strongest bond."

"I wouldn't dream of it. I might be their strongest bond, but you're all here wishing for their return. You're still connected to Sora, so that must mean something."

Riku withdraws his hand and smiles at him, really smiles; it's not the kind of smile showing teeth and exuding so much happiness, it's the kind that tells Roxas a weight has been lifted off his shoulders and that there is a layer of comfort around his heart. Riku doesn't often smile like that—memories don't recount everything, but they're enough to understand that not everyone has the privilege of seeing him so open and honest with his feelings, so Roxas tries his best to ignore the storm in his heart.

"Don't count on me to cheer you up whenever you're feeling down, I'm sending Xion to you next time," he mutters half-heartedly, looking at everything but his kind eyes.

Riku laughs. "You know, you're trying too hard to pretend you don't care about people. At first I really thought you just disliked me, but now that you said you're not mad…"

Roxas really wants to sink to the floor while yelling at Riku to shut up, but all his traitorous mouth can do is making embarrassed noises while his cheeks have decided to set him ablaze. And of course, Riku laughs harder at his disgruntled expression.

"I can still change my mind," Roxas grumbles. "And I said I can still kick your ass. We have a score to settle."

"Come fight me whenever you want." Riku keeps on smiling, and goes sit on his bed. "We'll see who's the stronger one."

"No need to speculate, you already know who's going to win!"

"Really? It's me, then. Wanna see how I'll decimate you?"

"You wish. Tomorrow at the training grounds?"

"That's fine by me, bring it on."

A smile tugs at Roxas's lips. It's easy to fall into a pattern. It's easy to see the good once you've cleared the bad. That's what he thinks, anyway, because he's tired of being angry at the world, and while some issues remain and pull him into various directions, he doesn't forget. The memories lie in his heart and he won't forget—not again.

* * *

Thanks for reading! I still don't know if this fic will be 2 or 3 chapters long, but hopefully the next one won't take too long.


	2. Chapter 2

asndfkj so sorry for the delay! And while writing this chapter, I realized there was no way the story would fit in 2 chapters-so now, I expect it to be 3 chapters long. I'll try my best to keep it that way!

* * *

**Chapter 2**

Turns out that, despite the heart-to-heart and long overdue conversation, they can't magically speak to each other without feeling a little bit nervous. Well, at least Roxas can't; he doesn't know what Riku is thinking, but judging by his neutral face he's probably trying very hard not to say stupid things. He can't recall any instances of him looking like that, even if he's searching deep in the memories.

They don't have to fight for the sink in the morning, though, because Axel isn't back yet and can't spend forever putting various and suspicious products in his hair.

"To be fair, I thought you followed his example," Riku says as he's tying his boots laces.

Roxas feels slightly offended there is any implications of him taking the time to craft his hair when it's going to be ruined by all the battles anyway. Riku lifts his head and seems to realize his discontentment, since he laughs and raises his hands in surrender.

"What, have you seen your hair? That's on the same level of craziness as Axel's, it's too spiky to make sense."

"Leave my hair alone, not all of us have straight hair like yours." Roxas rolls his eyes.

And if he did style his hair like Axel did, this rooming thing would have been much more disastrous, so Riku should be glad these complications don't exist.

Even if he can't initiate a proper conversation, it's easy to answer to Riku—words tumble out without much thinking, rising to every bait directed at him, and he's honestly not sure if it's a good thing, given how impulsive he is (Xion's words).

"Let's go, we have to get to the training grounds," Roxas says, smirking.

"Eager to lose?" Riku mirrors his expression, much more naturally than any expressions he's worn these past few days, and it does something weird to Roxas's stomach.

"That's my line."

Roxas leaves the room first, hearing the distinctive sound of Riku's boots following him. Since everyone was egging him on buying way too many clothes, he decided that plain shirts would do, and when Axel told him plaid was in fashion, he bought a couple jackets with that pattern. He doesn't understand fashion, so everything is a bit whatever to him, and right now his outfit is the most inconspicuous ever; there is no need to dress nice to spar. He's happy with the purchase of his sneakers, though, because they're much more comfortable than the Organization boots.

The training grounds, a bit away from the tower and behind the trees, don't entirely look what their name suggests, but this is what they've elected as a place for training since they don't particularly want to spend their time in that out of time pocket world Yen Sid has devised.

They have to walk on a sinuous road and dodge a few trees to reach a patch of land wide enough to freely jump and kick and fight to their heart's content. They haven't said a word on the way there but it's not a tense silence like one would expect—it's a comfortable silence that's easy to fall in, when both parties know they don't have anything to prove or justify. In Roxas's case, he's still processing the quick change and how fast Riku warmed up to him overnight, but it's far from an unpleasant feeling. He kept his gaze right ahead of him and resisted the urge to glance at Riku as if to check that this situation was real, but now that they're standing on opposite sides, he can't help noticing how serene Riku is.

"You ready?" Roxas asks, quirking an eyebrow at him.

"Of course." Riku sheds his black jacket and tosses it in a corner, then summons his keyblade—Braveheart, an embodiment of his achievements and his strength. "Magic?"

"No magic."

Roxas isn't the most proficient in it and he's pretty sure Riku would have the advantage if he resorted to it. He takes a breath, steadying himself, and in his open palms he brandishes Oathkeeper and Oblivion. Their edges are always shining, like they're reflecting the light from within and without. For the longest time Roxas thought it was because of Sora's heart, because of his connection to him, but now he also has people to protect and things that matter. It's his own power that flows in these keyblades.

"I can end this very quickly," he claims, grinning.

"Going all out right from the start? I'm okay with that."

Riku lifts his keyblade above his head. He isn't taking this lightly, as he should; Roxas never holds back, even in just sparring, and it has been a while since he's had a partner—he hasn't proposed a fight with Axel and Xion, not so soon. Roxas grips his weapons tighter, feeling suddenly excited at the idea of fighting, and he lunges.

Xaldin told him many times that he tended to charge into the enemy without thinking beforehand, which landed him in quite a few embarrassing situations at the beginning. Roxas thinks he got better at this, especially with his increased speed and control of his keyblades, but he admits that he usually considers attacking relentlessly the best strategy.

It's a tactic that doesn't quite work on Riku. Riku relies on defense and timed counter-attacks, which is a fighting style that has greatly changed from the first time they crossed blades. Roxas doesn't remember him being so swift while assuming a sturdy stance—every single one of his attacks hits a part of Braveheart but Riku manages not to stumble or give under the pressure. Oblivion is making the most noise, slashing and clashing and demolishing. It distracts while Oathkeeper searches for an opening, and Roxas finds it after repeatedly aiming for the same spots. Braveheart is broad and has a long range, but it can't do everything on its own; when Riku takes a step back to prepare his next attack, he leaves his right side open and Roxas connects with Oathkeeper. The blow sends Riku staggering on his feet, but he quickly recovers with a grunt, hand hovering above the bruise. A flash of displeasure crosses his features.

"I landed first blow," Roxas states smugly, preparing for the next assault.

"Don't get too cocky now."

Riku decides to charge in. He doesn't rush into things, but the sheer strength he exudes while moving coupled with his energy wrapping around his keyblade alert his opponents of the danger, and right now, Roxas knows he has to be on the defensive. He crosses his keyblades in front of him and parries the attack, then immediately dodges to the side to avoid being locked in a stance. Riku follows him and brings down his weapon, attempting to reach one of his arms, certainly to make him drop a keyblade. Roxas has never been on the receiving end of this strategy, but he's thought about and executed it multiple times; so he backs away, keeping Riku at arm's length, and lifts both keyblades above his head to block. The resounding clang of the impact rings in his ears and sends shivers down his spine, a feeling he has learned to bask in in the midst of a battle—to truly feel (things have changed, but he still smiles when the battle gets hectic). However he isn't a patient fighter, he much prefers showing his skills and finishing a battle quickly, so being forced to constantly deflect easily irks him.

So he waits for Riku to get close to him, watches his every step crushing the grass under his boots, and when he swings his keyblade for another horizontal blow, Roxas crouches down, very low, using his keyblades as crutches, and kicks Riku's ankles. Naturally, with the posture Riku had assumed, it was impossible for him to immediately brace himself, so he stumbles, again, and nearly falls flat on his butt with a cry. Roxas can't help snickering as he stands up and rushes towards his opponent, Oathkeeper raised and knocking Braveheart out of Riku's grip. He can't say he's really proud of it since the opportunity to do so shouldn't have been presented to him in the first place, but Roxas knows exactly how to bend the wrist and force the wielder to drop their keyblade (he's done it maybe, twice). Braveheart clatters on the ground and Riku is nursing his wrist, looking mildly annoyed, full-on frown and eyes that never betray his feelings. Roxas grins.

"Told you I'd win."

"You should stop aiming at wrists to win," Riku grumbles, but there is no heat in his voice.

That actually makes Roxas pause as he observes Riku's hands. He knows this isn't about the spar. He unmaterializes his keyblades, then takes a step towards Riku.

"I honestly didn't know my attacks left scars," he says quietly, subdued. He raises his hand, the whisper of a cure at his fingertips, but Riku grabs his arm.

"It wasn't serious, don't worry," he assures. "It already healed. And it was my left wrist anyway, no need to fret about this."

Roxas isn't totally convinced, as he knows from past experiences he can leave pretty nasty bruises if he really aims at hurting, but Riku is looking at him like he's some sort of scared animal and he can't pretend that this isn't relieving him, just a bit. So he sighs, and smiles.

"Alright. Don't complain if it starts swelling tomorrow."

"You'll be the first to know if anything is wrong." Riku looks smug, and Roxas rolls his eyes.

"You don't get to rub it in my face when you cheated after I beat you fair and square."

"I thought you said we had a score to settle?"

"Yes, because I won the first fight, and you cheated at the second. And I won today."

Riku looks like he's about to either burst out laughing, either keep his face in a constant confusion, probably trying to decipher what exactly Roxas means. It's not that complicated, really, Roxas simply prefers being clear on everything he does. He jabs a finger at Riku.

"So there. Two to zero, I'm stronger."

In addition he gets to establish a universal rule. Bragging has never been in his repertoire of habits but Roxas admits it feels good, sometimes, to know that there is something he's better at than someone else. It's kind of amusing, kind of exhilarating.

"From your perspective, I can understand what you mean," Riku finally replies, with the faintest of smiles. "That would make two to one, actually, because that was still my powers."

Roxas ponders on the question, and though he doesn't like remembering what this darkness entailed and what it did to him, he has to concede that _was_ Riku's doing.

"Alright, whatever. As long as you recognize that wasn't a true fight, I'll let it slide. For now."

Riku laughs and shakes his head, not at all bothered by this statement or even remotely putting up a fight to disagree. It's a bit too easy an admission, especially considering the damage that still trails them in their everyday action, but Roxas supposes it's better to talk lightly of it than stay rooted in the past.

(Axel said something about moving forward and seeing the bigger picture, once, at a time Roxas couldn't understand the meaning. The bigger picture would be recognizing they are now allies—friends if they wish to put efforts into it. It's not as unlikely as it looks.)

The thing is, Roxas doesn't know how to make the weirdness go away. Ever since they've stepped foot into the tower, ever since it was clear no animosity remained between the two of them, the sensation that something is missing or that they could do more lingers at the back of his mind, like a spell that keeps repeating. In these situations, having a heart does nothing to alleviate the uneasiness.

"I have to admit you've become stronger since the last time we fought," Riku says casually. "It's a bit surprising, since… well, you know."

There is no malice behind the words, no hurtful feeling; there is some hesitancy that Roxas has come to associate with Riku's normal speech, that often manifests when he's speaking to him.

"I guess that being in someone's heart doesn't make my instincts and strength disappear." Roxas shrugs. "I'm not really interested in the specifics, I was able to protect my friends and that's what matters to me."

He might be curious and have endless questions that drive everyone he's spoken to mad (except Luxord, and he didn't spend enough time with the Castle Oblivion team to know for sure), but there is knowledge he can live without—once upon a time he would have kicked up a storm to get answers about himself and about hearts.

"We can ask Zexion next time, maybe he knows something. I'm just glad I got a body at all."

He furrows his brows, remembering that Zexion wants to see him and Xion anyway, to make sure that the vessels aren't acting up and to collect data, or for whatever scientific project they're conducting. The idea of being under scrutinizing gazes and observed like a heartless isn't appealing, but he had to reluctantly agree to it when Xion pointed out it was for their own well-being.

"It might be worth looking into it, yeah," Riku muses, pinching his chin between his fingers. Then, more quietly: "A sleeping heart doesn't seem to sustain any damage, and there is no physical damage to the body either. It's strange."

"We've seen weirder things, like hearts travelling through time."

Riku chuckles, and Roxas's mind feels light while his heart floats.

"Right. There is so much we don't know about our own hearts."

He looks back at the tower, where a bit of smoke is coming from the kitchen. He grins at Roxas, who tries his best not to mirror his expression at this simple sight.

"Race you to the tower for breakfast?"

Riku doesn't even wait for a reply before dashing away, Roxas hot on his heels as he hurls cries of indignation at him.

* * *

Xion is looking at them with open surprise when they both burst into the kitchen at the same time, panting, but she's pleased.

"I was wondering why it was so calm in the tower, you two let off steam outside?"

Her grin is a bit too wide, a bit too knowing, like what transpired between them also positively affects her, which might actually be the case, and Roxas can't help pouting at her.

"I just had to show him I was stronger," he grunts. "And I won!"

Riku waves a hand in dismissal when Xion looks his way for confirmation, which Roxas pointedly ignores.

"At least I know he'll be reliable during a fight."

The compliment, though said in a fake mocking tone, completely catches Roxas off-guard and his heart skips a beat. He opens his mouth but nothing comes out; he closes it and tries again to no avail, as the words refuse to form. Xion is laughing and nods, leaving her friend to his despair.

"We can always count on him."

Her gaze lands on Roxas and it slowly takes a glint too difficult to define—her playfulness is still there, but it's suddenly covered by a sad emotion, or gratitude, Roxas can't decipher it. All he knows is that she is happy about whatever she's thinking, and it's hard to really stay irritated at her when she's shooting him such a sincere look. He averts his eyes.

"Whatever. I know what I have to do, that's all."

He quickly diverts the attention to Riku, though. "But don't think I'll always cover you! Get stronger!"

Riku hums. "I'll never be weak again."

That's a sentiment Roxas understands all too well. He deflates a little, offering a quiet sound of agreement. He places a hand over his heart, never letting go of his connection and his desire to protect. The warmth that is spreading in his body is calming, almost comforting, as if it was murmuring words of hope. It's not over.

"Come on guys, eat up before the brooms decide you can't have food," Xion says.

And Roxas leaps towards the bread on the table before Riku can get it.

* * *

They spend days doing nothing; that is to say, there is no threat in the world and nobody is contacting them to take care of swarms of heartless. Axel keeps doing jobs in other worlds (he says it's good training with his keyblade, so he must be destroying some of the heartless), Riku is still up to his own devices but he's at least communicating with them now, and Roxas and Xion try to understand why the hell school textbooks are so hard. The three of them often spar, to stay in shape and to take their minds off things. Roxas suspects that if he wasn't using his energy to hit stuff, he'd get too restless to stay sane long enough to study.

They take the gummiship to visit Zexion and the others in Radiant Garden, and if Riku wasn't with them for their first check-up, Roxas would have broken Ansem's nose (or worse). While he understands Riku's motives, he has a harder time to forgive Ansem—and Riku isn't fully off the hook yet anyway, not until they retrieve Sora and Kairi. Xion is a pillar of stability in times like these, and managed to calm him down while Riku acted as a barrier, despite his own misgivings about the scientist.

"I already faced my issues during the Mark of Mastery exam," he explains with a wry smile. "You'll get there."

You'll get there, he says. You'll understand better with time, he claims. Roxas isn't as patient as people seem to think him be. He wants to let go of the rage and the anger that always follow him wherever he goes, but he can't discard them like they never were emotions he lived through in the first place.

Riku shakes his head, keeping his eyes on the road as he pilots the ship back to the tower. "I'm not saying you should ignore what you're feeling. You have to understand why you're feeling that way, and act in consequence."

Roxas turns his head and looks at Riku—really looks at him. He remembers an encounter in the rain that clouded both parties' judgment and concealed their true feelings, blinded by their own, and he realized he was a fool to think that anyone overcoming the darkness in their heart wouldn't still be affected by it. Roxas doesn't know what pushed Riku to finally accept that part of himself, but he seems to radiate light when he speaks about it; an aura full of confidence about something that is put in the past, but not forgotten.

Not forgetting. This is the key. He can forgive and move forward all he wants, anytime and to anyone, but he won't forget.

And memories are his, not anyone else's.

"I feel like you're purposely trying to outdo me in anything that's not fighting," Roxas jokes, though his smile is genuine and dripping with understanding.

Xion chuckles, while Riku huffs. "It would be a shame if I didn't use my many years of training."

_With Sora_ goes unsaid, but it rings loud and clear for the three of them. Roxas looks at the stars they're driving past and takes a deep breath to cover the incessant drumming of his heart.

* * *

It's getting out of control and Roxas is sick of it. He doesn't understand how things could have developed this way, since there is no plausible reason or cause that predicted it. So of course, he asks Axel.

"Why can't I stay calm around Riku?" he grumbles, staring at his empty plate.

Axel pauses mid-bite, his fork a few centimeters away from his mouth, and stares at Roxas. "Do you mean you want to stab him with your keyblades or yell at him until his ears fall off?"

Roxas resists the urge to ask if ears can _really_ fall off if there is too much noise.

"It's not like that," he whines. "It's just...I can't properly focus when he's around. I always end up baiting him into an argument because I don't know how to talk to him another way. It's like…"

He digs far into his memories, far into the life of someone he could (should) have been, and retrieves pieces that make sense only to outsiders.

"It's like my mouth is running before I can think words. Like how Sora talks to Kairi, sometimes."

It improved with the years, but Roxas has vivid memories of a young Sora stammering his way out of embarrassing situations, and he truly doesn't want to experience this himself. He could hardly distinguish Xigbar's jokes from his serious talk sometimes, and many a time he was at the receiving end of Demyx's teasing for not behaving the correct way in a specific situation, so he'd much prefer not live the upgraded version.

Roxas lifts his eyes when the silence is stretching for too long, as rendering Axel speechless is usually a feat and not a result of his questions. The expression on Axel's face is almost...awkward. He tries to hide a nervous laugh.

"Are you sure it's like Sora and Kairi?"

Roxas ponders on it for a moment, then shakes his head. "It's not the same, of course, but the feeling is. I guess Sora didn't want to appear stupid in front of Kairi. I don't want to appear stupid in front of Riku either but it's not like I really care about what he thinks of me, you know?" He furrows his brows, and groans. "I might care a little bit…"

Axel heaves the deepest sigh Roxas has ever heard him heave.

"I'm not qualified for this talk," he grouses. "Alright. I might be wrong because it's difficult to know for other people, but what you're telling me checks all the boxes so I'm sure I'm right."

He takes a mouthful of pasta and chews carefully, probably to buy time. Roxas is dreading the answer (and his heart's fast beating is unlike the loud and distracting rhythm he's felt around Riku).

"You really, really care about Riku. On the same level as you care about Xion or me, or Sora. Maybe even more. He has a special...effect on you, I'll say."

"A special effect," Roxas repeats flatly.

"Yeah. You can't stop thinking about him, right?" Roxas purses his lips as he reluctantly nods. "He became someone special for you. Someone you view differently because he…behaves in a way you appreciate."

"That doesn't make sense. We become friends with someone because there's always something we like about them."

Axel bursts out laughing, nearly stabbing himself in the eye with his fork. "Nah, kid, this stuff never makes sense. I'm sure you'll figure this out."

Roxas doesn't have Axel's confidence about the matter, but he doesn't voice his doubt and thanks him anyway. It's only a few minutes later he realizes he called Riku his friend.

* * *

Roxas has another theory the next day upon waking up, after a good night's sleep. He was at the front row to witness the power of connections between hearts, and since he shared Sora's heart and memories for so long, maybe he unconsciously absorbed some of his feelings and thoughts. It's not as far-fetched as he initially thought, since it would explain his main problem, which isn't really a problem but he can hardly consider it a good thing.

Riku is Sora's best friend. It's only natural that Sora's feelings towards him would be among the strongest, and most likely to pass on to people who are directly connected to him. Maybe that's also why Xion was so quick to trust Riku's judgment; maybe that's why Roxas was able to truly see that holding a grudge, however justified, wouldn't have been healthy for himself in the long run (Sora would never be angry at Riku for an extended period of time).

Needless to say that it all comes back to the original issue: he's not Sora.

Despite the lingering feelings he might have inherited from his somebody, everything else is his. Roxas was pushed in a certain direction because of them, but in the end, he made decisions by his own volition—forgiving Riku, challenging him, treating him like a _friend_. And that's what matters.

They are hunting for heartless around the tower for Master Yen Sid's potions when Riku brings up the subject.

"I'll go back to Destiny Islands in a few days. I think it's time."

With his profile illuminated by this world's pale sunset light, Riku is almost touched by some kind of mysterious spell. He looks relaxed but there is a tightness in his jaw that Roxas attributes to the reminder that nobody is waiting in the islands. He rubs the back of his neck.

"Do you want to wait for them there?"

Riku slashes a bush with a swift blow. "Last time, when I escaped the Realm of Darkness with Sora, we ended up in Destiny Islands. Because it's our home." He turns around and shoots a small smile at Roxas. "That's what I believe, anyway."

"Home, huh?"

Their footsteps are light and scratching the ground they're walking on. It's quiet; they've been living in this lull of peace for two weeks now, undisturbed and free of doing anything they want. The restlessness hasn't receded (how can it after living his whole life amidst danger and battles?), and as long as he has a goal, he'd have to fill his days. He can't leave people behind or alone.

"I'll go with you."

Riku stops short and jerks his head towards Roxas, disbelief painted all over his face. Roxas flushes under this intense stare.

"If you want, I mean. I doubt anyone on the islands knows what's going on."

Sora has a family, he remembers belatedly. And so do Riku and Kairi. Those people probably aren't involved in the slightest in their war for order. Somehow, this strikes as incredibly sad.

Riku is still looking at him like it's the first time they're having a civilized conversation.

"That's…surprising and kind of thoughtful," he explains slowly. "Not that it's bad! But I wasn't expecting it."

He makes a vague gesture with his hands, and all of sudden Roxas is hit with all the mortification of a situation he absolutely didn't want to have a taste of.

"I know it's weird, but I thought that waiting for them with you would make the connection stronger or something," he mumbles.

And just like that Riku is shaken out of his stupor, his eyes widening and his whole face brightening. Yeah, that did something to Roxas's heart. Something really fuzzy and cutting off the oxygen.

"I'm glad we're in this together," Riku says warmly.

Roxas's lips stretch into a grin. Riku returns it just as heartily and continues looking for the heartless.

After seeing such an open and elated expression, Roxas understands what Xion and Axel meant.

* * *

And now Roxas and Riku's vacation starts. Thanks for reading! :D


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